Have you ever played a Wipeout game and thought, "Man, this game could be so much better if it weren't for the futuristic vehicles!"? No? Me, either, but that's just what Iridium Runners brings to your PS2.

The graphics in Iridium Runners are stylized in a sort of simplistic, almost cartoon-y way, but they are in 3D. The characters all have their unique appearances and quirks, but they tend to look like something from an early N64 game. Unless I missed something somewhere, this is the beginning of the Iridium Runners Intellectual Property (IP). That is, there is no existing cartoon, movie, toy line or trading card game that predates this videogame and has a following that would care about seeing images or whatnot from the game. Nevertheless, there is an art gallery in the game, where everything has to be unlocked before you can view it. This also goes for the songs, which are not songs that you may have heard on the radio - ever - but are, instead, original instrumental techno songs made for the game. I think the idea of unlockable content is a nice idea, but it needs to be something that actually feels like a reward to a loyal fan or an accomplished player. With the locked content in Iridium Runners, it simply didn't feel worth the effort - especially since the gameplay, itself, wasn't fun.

Some of the sound effects were appropriate and sounded nice, such as the shoe-squeak sound reminiscent of sounds heard during a basketball game, but with the music blaring and other louder sound effects taking the limelight, it was quite some time before I even heard these.

First off, I have to admit that all of the elements of a game are there and, therefore, this is, technically, a game. However, I don't know why anyone would have thought that a foot-race would have been a good idea for a video game. Mind you, I had this opinion back when Sonic R tried it, even though they had a solid license that already had a rabid following. The end result in that case is that they basically got by on their license.

So, the gameplay is similar to Wipeout, but you're on foot. For those unfamiliar with Wipeout, you run around by holding down a button and steering with the left analog stick. There are little platforms that will make you speed forward if you go over them, as well as items that, if you run through them, will give you one shot of a randomly selected weapon. Unlike Wipeout, Iridium Runners has a jump button that allows you to jump over gaps in the track... and for some unknown reason, there are lots of gaps in a track that is (supposedly) made with the intention of being used by runners. Go figure.

Further distancing Iridium Runners from Wipeout is the fact that the pickups appear as boxes floating in an array across the track. This is more reminiscent of any number of cart racing games. And, while we're on the subject, this is probably a good time to mention that the handling of the less agile runners feels much, much less like you're controlling a person running around a track and much, much more like you're controlling an early model muscle car. Acceptable when playing a car-racing game, not so much when it's supposed to be a foot-race. At high speeds, some characters are, essentially, power-sliding in a way that makes cartoon physics look believable.

When it comes right down to it, I found Iridium Runners to be completely lacking in entertainment value. Nothing about this game made me want to keep playing it. This is sad, as I really enjoy racing games, as a genre.

In addition to the fact that the controls feel more like you're driving a hot rod than running, and the fact that the tracks are often confusing, the A.I. is hard to beat and the races tend to run too close. I found that if I played really well, I could come in first place, but if I didn't manage to make it into first place, I was more than likely going to end up in last place, or at the very least, second to last.

I am sure that I have played (and enjoyed) games that are more difficult, but Iridium Runners doesn't offer enough entertainment to make me want to actually keep trying.

You can play against a friend in Multiplayer modes, but unless you have four people to play the game, you're going to still be playing against A.I. opponents. If you have three players and you want to all play at the same time, you are limited to Deathmatch mode and you'll be racing and fighting in a free-for-all with your friends and one A.I. opponent. If you're have two or four players, you can also try the Team mode. (Team Mode doesn't support three players.)

Quite possibly my biggest gripe about the difficulty in Iridium Runners is that there is no way to customize it. There are absolutely zero difficulty settings. The only way to change the difficulty of the game is to change the way you play, change your opponents (play against other people, rather than the A.I.), change your character or change the pod you use. You have to rely on strategy to make the game easier for yourself, as the game simply doesn't offer to help you adjust the difficulty. This might not be a problem for the developers of the game (you can generally expect that they're pretty good at their own game), but it makes the learning curve higher than anyone else (with the possible exceptions of their mothers and, perhaps, close friends and family members) will want to bother with.

If you do decide to play this game, I will pass along a tip that helps a bit in the tight corners: if you're able to approach the tight turn on the inside of the turn, holding into the turn and using your rib-jab in the opposite direction will help you clear the turn easier. Also, if you find yourself on the outside of a turn and about to fall off, a rib-jab in the direction of the track will pull you away from the edge. Please don't take these gameplay tips as an endorsement of this game.

I'm a firm believer in the thought that a good concept for a game combined with good gameplay and good design decisions can lead to the creation of an amazing game, without needing a pre-existing license to prop it up. Unfortunately, in the case of Iridium Runners, the gameplay isn't entertaining, the game has no existing license - but pretends like people care about the assets, anyway... and it doesn't seem like any good design decisions were harmed in the making of this game.

The tracks (that I actually made it to) are easy to fall off and, while this contributes to the challenge, it's simply not fun. The "handling" of the less agile runners feels like they're front heavy - the problem that old muscle cars have, causing them to fish-tail in turns. The very thought of a person fish-tailing in a turn is, quite frankly, ridiculous, making the added difficulty in controlling these characters not only bothersome but hilarious looking. The idea of having little pods that fly around with you and assist you is an interesting idea, adding a bit of strategy, as they help to adjust your stats a bit, but if you play a multiplayer game, the pods' stats (or the players' stats, for that matter) aren't even listed. This means that you're expected to either have memorized all of the pods by appearance and know what they do for you, or that by the time you play against another person, you've selected a "favorite" pod and wouldn't dream of switching to another one. I find it ludicrous to expect players to remember stats for the characters (and supporting characters, if you will), especially when there's not a license that has already familiarized the players with the characters.

The final straw is that the "Iridium" pickups that you have to pick up as you run around fuel everything from your sprinting (Iridium Boost) move to your elbowing enemies in the ribs, and... it gets better... if you run out of Iridium... (wait for it) you lose the race, as you're out of fuel. If there was any benefit to a racing game that occurs on foot (and I say "if" because I simply don't think there is one, but want to pose the thought anyway), if there was, it would have to be that you didn't have to worry about running out of fuel. Maybe your speed reduces significantly until you get some more Gatora.. um, I mean Iridium, but, once you reach the next 20 ounce of fuel, you're back up to speed. I found that, of the many ways that Iridum Runners annoyed me and frustrated me, I was most infuriated by "running out of gas."

Iridium Runners plays like a game that was hoping upon hope to scrape by on a license that it couldn't secure. I don't know if this feels more like it should have been a Wipeout clone, a futuristic cart racer or a advertainment game for some sports drink that couldn't secure a sponsor, but it falls somewhere in the middle of all of these ill-advised game ideas, in a dark place that games should never go.

I can't advise this game for anyone, in good faith, and while I would definitely suggest renting this game before considering purchasing it, I really couldn't advise renting it either. While the ESRB has rated this game "E" for Everyone, I would have to rate it around "PYDL" for People You Don't Like.