Since I'm from Louisiana, the accepted stereotype dictates that I go fishing every weekend somewhere in the bayou before returning to my shanty in the swamp and eating alligator. While I do live near water (okay, a little drainage creek) and have eaten alligator (doesn't taste like chicken), I've only gone fishing about five times in my twenty-three years on Earth. Although I'm not a fishing expert, I do know a how rotten fish smells - and this one stinks.

Top Angler does have some nice effects - especially in the area of aquatic visuals. The water looks almost realistic as it gently flows, giving off a nice serene reflection, and just wait until you see it when it rains! Nice scenic 'props' such as downed trees and various pieces of debris top off the presentation. This could have been one of the most peaceful games on the PS2 had it not been for the jaggies. Now, I'm usually one to try and overlook things like this, but this game is about as crooked as a politician and has more shimmer than a Mardi Gras float. Given how nice the environments look, it is heartbreaking that the slightest movement destroys everything.

Fishing is supposed to be a nice, peaceful sport. It's just supposed to be you, some buddies, a bucket of worms and an ice chest of beer (the sandwiches were thrown out to make room for more beer). So it struck me as surprising when I heard that this game had music; bad salon-style piano music. This, loyal readers, is why Sony gave me a mute button on my receiver. Aside from the music, the other sounds are rather enjoyable - too bad the sound was off most of the time.

No matter who is doing the game, to me, fishing seems like a sport that will never translate into a good video game. Fishing is more than just throwing a hook into water; it's about getting together with friends and bonding. Unfortunately, the only bonding Top Angler is likely to do is when it bonds to your wall after you throw it out of your system. After a few minutes of playing, I realized why I don't go fishing more often - it's boring. Without a group of friends to talk to fishing is, in my opinion, probably one of the most boring things in the world. But in order to give this game a fair review, I got someone who loves to go fishing to give the game a try, and even he grew tired of it. Top Angler does give you the opportunity to complete in a Goal Challenge and Tournament modes, but even these options lead you to the same snorefest of a game.

I realize fish are not the smartest animals in the world, but they can't be this stupid. After wiggling a line in front of the fish, instead of going for the bait, he'll bite at the empty space of water around it. Other than that, the most challenging thing in Top Angler is staying awake.

This is, without a doubt, the most non-interactive game I have ever played. A typical game of Top Angler consists of pressing X to cast your line, then pressing X to adjust your power meter. This is followed by a half hour long wait (or it seemed that long) as the lure floats to the top of the water. Finally, you pull your line towards you and watch the fish either bite at the water around the hook or ignore it all together. Lather, rinse, repeat. That's it - you can't adjust the line or dragging speed, or move the lure. But, for what it's worth, at least it controls well.

If you really want to go fishing, take the money you would have spent on this game and buy a rod, grab some friends (and the ice chest) and do it for real.