I love the smell of melted plastic in the morning...smells like victory. Army Men: RTS
is something of a parody of old war films, set in a parody of an RTS game. In fact, fans of the movie Apocalypse Now
will get a kick out of the game's main villain. The fun part about Army Men
is that the characters in the game take things seriously ('He's gone tan Sarge!'
), yet nothing else in the game takes itself seriously.
For once, I was glad to see that the entire game takes place in the 'real world' and not the crappy 'Army Men world'.
As far as the game goes, this is your standard RTS, albeit a very basic one. Army Men presents you with the basic goal of destroying the Tan army. Some mission goals are as easy as getting from point A on the map to point B, or you may be asked to destroy the Tan army's 'Infinite Power Resource' (AKA: a typical garden light).
Every war needs funding, and this one is no exception. Army Men: RTS takes its own, unique spin on things by requiring you to collect plastic from other toys and electricity from batteries and watches. Also, when things get tight, you can cannibalize destroyed units. The general rule of thumb throughout the entire game is that there are no small wars, only small soldiers.
In addition to your standard toy soldiers, you are also given access to the standard cast of troops: Sarge, Vikki, Hoover - all your favorites are here, including a new recruit, Bullseye, a sniper. These are the strongest of your troops, and are most likely the ones who will survive most encounters with Tan forces. Later in the game, you will also have access to the ultimate weapon of mass destruction - the magnifying glass.
As enjoyable as I found things, I could not help but to want more. I really would have liked some more interactions with environments. What good is a sniper with a big twig on his back if he cannot hide in the bushes? In other missions, such as the battle on the counter-top, my eyes lit up with the prospect of taking control of the stovetop and using it as a defensive weapon. It is the little details like these that can make a good game great.