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The Bard’s Tale
Score: 88%
ESRB: Teen
Publisher: VU Games
Developer: inXile Entertainment
Media: DVD/1
Players: 1
Genre: Action/ RPG

Graphics & Sound:
Despite sharing a name with the popular RPG series from the 80s, The Bard’s Tale is an action RPG in the vein of Champions of Norrath or the Dark Alliance series. What the game lacks in throwback nostalgia of the series makes up for with a great script and some action-packed gameplay moments. However, combat issues, as well as a steep difficulty curve, help to keep the game from reaching the heights of the games it emulates.

The Bard’s Tale is detailed, but a little dirty looking. The Bard himself looks great, as do the many characters that inhabit his world. In particular, it seems as though the ladies have received the most attention and tend to look even better than the main character. Environments feature lots of little details, but tend to have a gritty look; an effect that is due in part to the age of the game’s engine.

Sound takes on a distinctively Scottish flare, which comes as a bit of fresh air considering the number of high-fantasy inspired games on the market. All characters speak with Scottish accents that sound authentic enough, but still have that “fake” feeling at the same time. The real stars of the show are the Bard himself, voiced expertly by Cary Elwes, and the narrator, voiced by Tony Jay. The banter between the two throughout the game is great -- they argue, they cut each other down, and the narrator even praises the player for dying, thus saving him for having to read about the Bard any further.


Gameplay:
What makes The Bard’s Tale entertaining isn’t its gameplay, but its humorous look on the entire RPG genre. If Mel Brooks or Monty Python were to make a game, it just might be The Bard’s Tale. Nearly every gameplay mechanic or cliché is used in the game -- from pointless lever puzzles (“Wouldn’t it make more sense to have the door opening lever on the other side of the door?”) to searching and taking stuff from people’s houses. If there’s ever been a question you’ve asked while playing an RPG, The Bard’s Tale asks it (“You’d be amazed what animal carcasses have dropped. Did I ever tell you about the time I killed a rat and a chest dropped out?”). Some of the jokes are crude, mostly innuendo, but it’s nothing you haven’t heard in a PG-13 movie.

After listening to the Narrator complain about having to write yet another story about the Bard, you are given the opportunity to set his stats up in typical D&D style. You can also choose special abilities and traits for the Bard, allowing somewhat of a customizable experience. Abilities include a dual-wielding option for weapons, as well as special attacks.

You’re soon dropped into the world of the Bard. After a brief musical number praising the inventor of beer (I’m not kidding), the Bard begins hitting on the busty barmaid. In an attempt to get in good with his newest interest, the Bard offers to take the traditional “Clear the rats from the cellar quest.” From here the story goes on to... well, saying anything more would ruin things. The entire game plays like the typical action RPG. As the Bard, you travel from area to area completing quests, solving puzzles, and killing everything you come across.

Gameplay is straightforward and easy to get into. The game’s intro mission does a great job of getting you into the game (even though the Bard has no idea what people are talking about), while the humor will keep you there for the long haul. Most of the game is action-based, although a few puzzles will pop up while in dungeons.


Difficulty:
As entertaining as the game is, the steep difficulty level is enough to make you want to turn the game off. From the start, the game is frustrating. Once you obtain your first decent set or armor, as well as a few levels, the game becomes much more enjoyable, but you still can’t shake the game’s flawed combat system -- which proves to be the game’s biggest flaw.

Game Mechanics:
Combat in action RPGs is a simple affair; you mash a button or two and kill hordes of creatures. For the most part, The Bard’s Tale takes this route, but it also tries to make more of the system than it needs to be. In addition to the attack button, a parry/block button is also around. In order to be effective, expertly timed button presses are required. This wouldn’t be such a bad thing if there weren’t lag between the button presses and the actual action. When fighting one or two enemies, combat poses little problem. But against three or more enemies you’re pretty much dead. The Bard’s stats can be improved to make your chances better, but even pumping skill points into dexterity doesn’t help out the sluggish movement.

The simple action of running suffers from slow movements. As you run across a field, the Bard seems to continually stop with every step as if the game needs to reload the run animation over again. It’s a minor annoyance, but does hamper enjoyment.

The Bard can learn songs that will summon creatures to his side during battle. The summoning system is very easy to manage and is just a matter of button presses. After bringing up the menu, you can select the element that the creature is tied to, and then bring up another menu to summon that creature. When summoned, the creature is on your side, but isn’t completely under your control. It will usually run on its own A.I., but you can offer suggestions by pressing the D-pad. Similar systems are used to handle equipping items and using magic.

Sluggish controls aside, The Bard’s Tale is an enjoyable game. The script is enjoyable and the Bard is easily one of the better RPG heroes to come along in awhile. Hopefully, this isn’t the last we’ll see of the Bard.


-Starscream, GameVortex Communications
AKA Ricky Tucker

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